Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I can't say that my Dad and I had a great relationship. It was hard for him to show his feelings to me and to others in general. At times he was critical and boisterous. He was imperfect as we all are. But I know in my heart that he loved me, my sister and especially my mother. He loved Gary his son in law who reached out to him with unconditional love and compassion and his daughter in law Barbara, who always seemed to put a smile on his face. He loved all of his grandchildren and he was fortunate to spend many wonderful happy years with them all.<br><br>My childhood memories of him are of a playful loving father who took me and my sister out to small amusement parks on Sundays. I remember him playfully chasing us around the house. I remember him telling us funny bedtime stories and giving my mother, my sister and me money while keeping only a minimal amount in his own pocket. I remember him wanting us to eat everything before he ate. I remember him working at the GE on second shift to earn more than he could during the daytime shift to give his family just a little more. I remember him driving my sister and me to St George Church every Sunday and stopping at the bakery on the way home and at the candy store for us. He had so many funny names for all those candy stores. <br><br>Most Sundays he would take me and my sister to his sister Connie’s house where he was feared by my cousins, Johnny, Tommy and Michael. But also where he was respected and where he gave as much love as he could to his sister Connie and her family.<br><br>I remember taking rides to see the lights during Xmas season and teasing my sister by saying "Awwwwe" at every single house's Xmas light display....she hated that.... I remember him building beautiful birdhouses for my mother and building the tree-house for me and my sister. I remember him driving the whole family to Maine for summer vacation with my Theo Peter, Theia Anna and cousins Joanne and Elaine in the car ahead.....Dad desperately trying to keep up to Theo Peter's speeding car.<br><br>I remember every Saturday night when my Dad, Theo Peter, and I watched The Honeymooners, Hogan's Heroes and Get Smart and enjoyed many laughs together while my mother, my aunt, and my sister talked in the kitchen. <br><br>Later during our college years he worked overtime shifts relentlessly to help me and my sister get an education that led to the successes in our lives and that allowed us to have a little more than he did. He proudly bragged to everyone about how proud he was of his kids in college.<br><br>After college my dad and I drifted apart and I know I can never get those years back. But even if it were 1000 years....they did not diminish the loving memories I have of him. Those memories will never leave my heart and my soul. They are the memories that<br>nourish me in times of dispair. They are the memories that are etched in my memory that I go to when I need strength and courage.<br><br>And ironically at the end of his life, I shared one of the most intimate and tender moments ever with my Dad. As he lay in bed I held his hand cradled in mine. I spent a long time just looking at and touching his hand.It was only at that moment that I realized that we had not grown apart at all. His big rugged hand felt the same as it had when I first held it long, long ago.It was the same hand that held me as a baby. It was the same hand that secretly gave me money, it was the same hand that I held when crossing the road to the candy store on Sundays. It was the same hand that tickled me as a little boy. It was the same hand that worked so hard for so little to make my life just a little bit better than his. It was the same hand that built those bird housesand the tree house. It was the hand that I hadn't held for so long that was nowcomforting me. It was hand that took me back to those distant yet vivid memories that I will cherish forever. I love you Dad....and I'll miss you.<br>
