Thursday, March 18, 2010
Frances Kasprzyk , my Mom - she was a tough lady, she was a fighter, she was salty and spoke like a truck driver, she lived for her family, she lived life to the fullest - and she did it her way - for 89 almost 90 years.<br><br>Now Mom was a story teller - she had lots of stories which she told over and over and over and over. I’ll share a few of those stories with you. And I’ll add a few of her favorite sayings and phrases- but not the salty ones. Mom had a way with words<br><br>But I want to tell her story with a little poetic license - I think it is very interesting<br><br>1. Mom was a 2nd generation immigrant. You may not think much of that. But Mom often spoke about Yankee Doodles as she called them - persons who had live here for generations. She was not a Yankee Doodle and she was well aware of that. She was an outsider.<br>2. And not speaking the language heightened the idea of being an outsider. Her first language was not English. Her mom and dad only spoke polish. So there was a learning curve right from the beginning<br>3. When mom was young, according to the family, her mom, my grandmother, beat the hell out of her - and deservedly so. She was a spunky girl and I think this made her tougher.<br>4. Mom was born in 1920. The Great Depression began when she was 9 years old and lasted almost 12 years - her formative years of becoming an adult. Now I know that you all know that these are bad times for our economy with unemployment almost at 10%. But during the depression, unemployment was 25% - people were out of work and people were out in the street. My son Matthew said that one of the things he remembered most about his grandmother is the “she loved money”. Well Matt, yes she loved money - she loved to count it. She loved to balance her check book. But I think her love of money was really fear of not having money and being place out in the street with nothing. <br>5. Mom grew up in Danvers not far from here. There was one person to whom Mom looked up to more than anyone else. Her idol - her polish idol - was her mother who beat the hell out of her. And now it is time to tell the beer story. Mom used to say over and over and over “I was amazed that this women who could never read or write but she could make beer. How did she know how to do that? She went on to explain that after her mother went to bed, she would sell the beer for 5 cents to the guys who were coming out of work from the state hospital” But this story was not about beer - it was about her strong and fearless mother who brought them through the depression.<br>6. World War II happened when mom was in her 20s. It was a time of fear. 4 years of worrying that the war might be lost to the Germans on the east or the Japanese on the west. Mom’s story about that time was about her your brother - Edu - who died at the beginning of the war. His munitions ship was blown to pieces. The war hit home to the Dzierek family and for my mom. Mom often spoke about what Edu would have become <br>7. At age 20, mom got a job at Sylvania Electronics where she proudly worked for 43 years. She was a feminist before the word became fashionable.<br>8. In 1945, she married my Dad (for 55 years) and began a family. My memory of my mom and dads relationship was that they were always fighting. Fortunately, he worked the first shift and she worked the 2nd . But after my dad died in 2000, my Mom would brag about what a great guy he was - how lucky she was to have a guy like that. To me, at first, this was revisionist history or alzheimers or just plain maddness. But I now realize that she really loved my Dad very much - in her own way -she did it her way.<br>9. Her family began with me in 1949 and 1953 with my sister Francine. My mother as a mother was a relentless mother. If she wanted you to do something or think something she would pound it into you over and over and over - until it sunk in. She was truly a pain in the ass. But I want to tell one story which she told to me over and over - a good story that was worth the relentless pounding. She would often say that there was only one man in the whole world who never ever told a lie - her father. Now I don’t know if my grandfather ever told a lie or not - but I know and I learned - it is in my DNA - that there is nothing more important than telling the truth.<br>10. As I got older, my painful relationship with my Mom turned into friendship. She would call me or I would call her and the discussions always were around me, Malle, Sarah, matthew, Liza, Francine, Mark, Lauen, Adam, Judy, Helen, Rosie, Steven or the rest of our extended family. Mom was not a person of the world - she a a person of her family.<br>11. At the end, the last 3 years, Mom got alzheimers - a terrible desease where short term memory goes and then long term memory follows. And it was the loss of the long term memory that was the most devastating because all of her stories were about the past. <br>12. I would like to end by sharing a few of her sayings<br><br>See ya later alligator for a while crokadile. <br>Joe Blow from Idiho. <br>Enough is enough,.<br> Hit the road.<br>What’s new<br> Eny meany minie mo.catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, eny minie minie mo. <br>I love you mom and I speak for everyone here - we all love you. <br>See ya later alligator<br>
